There is a movie about Edward Snowden coming out soon and it has made me think about him and his revelations. I have heard a few different stories about him and I felt like I should look and see if I could find the truth about him. I have been doing a bunch of research on him the past week or so digging deep into the internet. I have even gone as far as hitting the next button on Google up to four times. I’m talking about deep into the internet. Here is what I have found.
Edward Snowden is a complete fucking tool who released classified information to make himself famous.
“But Luke, he exposed government programs that spied on US citizens,” you say to me. Yes, he did. I am glad that those programs were brought into the light. I do not support those programs and I believe they are unconstitutional. That does not change the fact that Snowden is a fucking tool.
Let’s talk about why he is a tool. What exactly did he do while working at the CIA and NSA. The first place he worked was an unclassified facility as a security guard. A facility where he claimed to have access to top secret material. Ummm, bullshit stinky, stinky bullshit. From there his jobs with the CIA and NSA were as IT and system admin. Despite his claims was not a hacker, or a counterintelligence expert, a cyberstrategist, intelligence analyst, targeting officer, cyber security expert, and most assuredly not a spy. The preceding are all jobs that he claimed to have had while working for the CIA and NSA. Bullshit, on top of bullshit, on top of bullshit. He was a network and systems administrator. Yes, he worked on top secret systems, but he was fucking tech support. As an actual former intelligence professional I say fuck Edward Snowden you lying fucktard. In addition to lying about his job, he also has lied repeatedly about his education. He did not go to John Hopkins nor did he attend the University of Liverpool. He claimed both, but they turned out to be lies.
It makes me very angry that he has said, “trained as a spy in the traditional sense of the word in that I lived and worked undercover overseas—pretending to work in a job that I’m not—and even being assigned a name that was not mine.” Fuck you, he worked at an embassy with official cover. That is not being trained as a spy. That is not working “undercover.” Asshole.
What Snowden did was use his position as a systems admin to get usernames and passwords to gain access to classified material. He did not “hack” anything. He might have phished, but he did not use a computer program to break into a secure system. After he copied the docments onto a thumbdrive he fled the country and gave them to a reporter and a documentary film maker. What he did not do was attempt to follow protocol for reporting violations of the law. He sent one email, once to a supervisor. He claims to have sent dozens of emails to dozens of people. Yet, he has not produced those emails. No, he did run his concerns up his chain of command and when that did not work go to the inspector general. That is the path your are supposed to follow. If those paths do not work, then you go to the media.
The final reason I think he is a major tool and that he only did this for personal attention, is that he did not stick around. Here is a list of real whistleblowers John Paul Vann, Peter Buxtun, John White, Daniel Ellsberg, Frank Serpico, Perry Fellwock, Frank Snepp, and many more. Besides whistleblowing, these men all have thing in common. They did not run away. They faced the consequences of their actions. Snowden ran like a little bitch. Why? Most likely because he really doesn’t care about what he was exposing. He just wanted his 15 minuets of fame.
Another reason he is a tool, is that he ruined many intelligence operations. He could have exposed the program without exposing the methods of collection. I read in many places people talking about how smart he is. Really, that smart and he couldn’t even edit the documents to remove how the information was being collected and still tell us who was being spied upon. Give me a break.
Let us recap all of this. He consistently lies about what his actually jobs were, he lied about the education he received, he did not stick around to face the consequences of his actions, and he didn’t have the brain power to realize that revealing methods of collection was a bad thing. Yes, he exposed a horrible program designed to spy on Americans, but he did it in a really shitty way. He is a tool. Do not celebrate him, he is not worth it.